Pedro the Lion speaks

Love this song. Praying that I can act it out daily. My armor and fight sure isn't getting me anywhere...

The sun shines
And leaves blow
And my hope like autumn is turning brown
I know it seems like I'm always falling down

But it does not matter to me
Although it seems like it should
It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say
"Rest in me little David
And dry all your tears
You can lay down your armor
And have no fear
Cause I'm always here
When you're tired of running
And I'm all the strength that you need"

It's uphill both ways
Tomorrow I swear I won't act this way
And I know it seems like that is what I always say

But it does not matter to me
Although it seems like it should
It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say
"Rest in me little David
And dry all your tears
You can lay down your armor
And have no fear
Cause I'm always here
When you're tired of running
And I'm all the strength that you need"

You know I want to be like Jesus
But it seems so very far away
When will I learn to obey?
Obey...

Oh the weather outside is frightful

A hoodie and blanket are so delightful....

I just watched Julie and Julia. It was a lovely film. It reminded me that I have not written in such a long time! But, alas... I don't have any issues pressing on my brain enough to write.

I'm off for a snow day today. I love watching the snow fall, as everyone else does. However, I hate snow, because it is cold. I would be perfectly content to never see snow again.

I am considering a venture based on the Julie/Julia project. I may begin a Jillian/Lauren project. This would entail me doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workout for 30 days straight. I really do want to do that... I started a few weeks ago and then got sick on day 2 and had to stay in bed all day. However, I am considering trying it again.

Christmas break would be the perfect time to do this for 2 reasons. Number 1- I have more time on my hands. Number 2- It will help me not gain 5 pounds over Christmas!! Here are some concerns I have- vacation. We are having our own Christmas Vacation, am I required to workout then? Would a 3 day rest invalidate my work? Lastly, I like to work out with other people. If someone joined me on this journey, I am 99% sure I would complete it. Volunteers??

Politcal Message from Lauren.

My friends, I am not a major political nut. However, I just feel compelled to make a few statements of political nature. I hate arguing, and avoid it at all costs, being the passive aggressive creature I am. I promise I am not trying to make anyone mad. I also promise I do not know all there is to know about anything political. So, take these comments with love and grace.
Thanks.

The issue of the day is aliens! Not space ones. Mostly Mexican ones. People who come to America because they want to make a better life for themselves and their families. They don't always do it legally. Sometimes they sneak in. Sometimes they don't follow the rules of living here properly. Mostly I hear anger and hatred when people speak about these folks. They steal our jobs, they take our money, they don't follow our rules, they don't try hard enough to learn English, etc... I would just like to reflect on a Bible verse for a moment.

This is a verse from Leviticus. In the passage God is explaining some laws he would like the Israelites to keep. He asks them to keep these rules so that they may be set apart from the world and show other people how God loves them and how God wants them to live. Here is a law I came across... "The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God." Leviticus 19:34.
What?? God wants us to love them? YES!!!!! God wants us to love them!! Because God loves them. And aren't we commissioned to be Jesus to all people?

Let's look at the verse again. Why does God say we should love them? Because we were once aliens in Egypt. Not us, literally; the Israelites. The Israelites were enslaved to the Egyptians for hundreds of years. They were mistreated and cried out to God for freedom. God is asking the Israelites to empathize with their neighbors. To remember the pain of being alone, and to reach out a loving hand. (Yes, I know the Israelites are different from aliens in America because we do not have them enslaved here. They come on their own. But I believe the principle still remains. Empathize. If you lived in their country, saw the violence and poverty they do, you might consider swimming the river, too. I know I would. Empathy. Love.)

So, when I hear people complaining about illegal aliens I cringe and say, why can't we love them? Just because they are more tan than me, speak a different (and beautiful) language, and were born a few miles south does not give me any right to slander them. We are to love them. God asked us to treat them like our own native-borns.

Most of my opinion comes from being concerned very little with earthly governments and very much concerned with the Kingdom of God. As a citizen of the Kingdom, I will choose to love rather than accuse, complain, or judge.

Well, that's about it. I have more to say, but due to privacy, will not be typing it online. We can talk about it personally, if you are so inclined.

I feel better now. c:

Advent Conspiracy

Since its getting closer to Christmas, I have been thinking about the website (AdventConspiracy.org) I read about last year. Its basically about how Christmas celebrations have gotten pretty skewed over the years. We should be celebrating the life of Jesus and the amazing story of how God was born into squalor and genocide to rescue his lost loves. I like the ideas they have there about celebrating differently...
Our small group is reading Jesus For President so I skipped ahead to the part about holidays and was re-reading... The thing about it that gets me thinking is, we give presents because the Magi gave presents to Jesus. So, of course we want to give our loved ones gifts. As a church, we generally look beyond ourselves and give to an Angel Tree kid, or take the inner-city kids to North Boulevard for their huge giveaway. We find a way to extend the love to others. That's what we should do, right??
After I read about the water crisis going on in most of the world, and how little (relatively) money it would take to fix it, I wasn't so sure. Most of the world drinks dirty water, and wastes huge amounts of time to get it. David says his team in Tanzania walked with one of the girls carrying water one day and they were exhausted at the end! And women do most of the work to bring water to their homes. A lot of that water isn't even clean. According to the research on the website, millions are sick, dying, and unable to go to school- all because they lack clean water. And its there in the ground!
I know giving presents to a kid whose father is in jail is noble. I know it is kind and good hearted. But I, personally, think I will be sick if I buy a kid another X-Box game, when I could provide water for 4 kids for LIFE with the same money. While I don't want to discourage people from doing programs like the Angel Tree, I feel like God's people need to step it up, here! If we could provide water to these millions of kids, we would make their health, education, and therefore, life so much better! Honestly, I don't think buying Tickle Me Elmo for a little girl is going to do that much for her...
I want to live in a way that is not of the world, but of the Kingdom. I want Christmas to look different for my family than it does for other people. I want to celebrate the life of Jesus and the life he came to bring to us. I can't think of a much better way than to help people build wells so they can provide their families with clean water! Jesus even called himself the Living Water.
So I'm not sure exactly how we are doing Christmas this year... I would love to see my church family get in on this with me and really change some lives! Praying that God will show us how to serve him in all that we do! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I have known the Harrells pretty much my whole life. When I was very young I would watch this home video my parents had made. I think they were saying goodbye to someone who was retiring, or something like that... I don't really remember. But in the video my parents and their friends were doing the silliest skits! One of them was Mark Harrell laying on a table with his head hanging upside down with his chin decorated like a face. He was singing and it looked so bizarre to me! My parents laughed every time we saw it. I also remember seeing a picture in one of our photo albums pre-me and Nikki with my parents, the Harrells, and some other couples from church. I always like the picture, because they all looked so happy. Lisa was laughing. And my mom is wearing this pink sweater, which she still owns and wears, so that's pretty funny.
The Harrells became very important in my life about the time I was 14 or 15. They called on me to babysit for them. I was looking for some extra money, and I have always liked kids, so they asked me to babysit for them fairly often. It wasn't until recently that I realized how much they were doing me a favor, and not the other way around. When I would babysit, Mark would come pick me up at my house, about a 20 minute drive. Then they would order pizza for me and the kids. When they got home, Mark would take me back to my house! So he was driving about an hour out of his way, when he could have just gotten a babysitter who could drive. And they paid me!! That is love.
Babysitting for them was wonderful and I will never forget it! Sam was quiet and just played on the computer the whole time. Shelby was a precious little thing who took most of my attention, since she was still in diapers! She forced me to watch more Barney than I had ever wanted to. But getting to play with her and watch her grow was totally worth it. She had quite a cute belly back then and I remember patting it and calling her Buddha Belly. One night I gave her a bath and tried to towel dry her hair. She got really aggravated at me and went to get the blow dryer and tried to make me use it. I had not really ever used one myself and I thought I would burn her little head. So I think she probably just air dried that night! Last, but oh- not least, there was Seth. Adorable, wild Seth. Seth who did not tell me we were playing hide and seek- but hid anyway. I may have had a heart attack that night! After looking everywhere, I finally got Sam to help me look. Of course, smart Sam knew just where he was- in a closet by the bathroom. I think he was under some towels... Anyway, I gave Seth a lecture of the dangers of hiding (cause, you know, a fire could happen and then I would die trying to find you and you would die because you were hiding!!!!).
My very, very favorite memory from babysitting is going to the lake! Lisa's family lives by a lake and have a boat and some jet ski's. We all went up one day and I came along to make sure the kids stayed out of the way of whatever they were doing. A few weeks later, my family and some other friends all came up to the lake together. This time we played all day! I remember riding on the jet ski for the first time and thinking it was the best thing ever! My mom thought Mark drove too fast (she was wrong :) ). Then I got on the tube behind the jet ski... It was the only time in my life where I truly thought I was about to perish. Obviously, I was fine. Riding so fast over the water with the surface inches from my face was exhilarating! Again, my mom thought Mark was driving the jet ski too fast (I may have secretly agreed that time). Then we loaded up on the boat to get some dinner at the Marina. I have a distinct memory of Mark at the wheel, the wind blowing his hair in crazy directions, singing "Cheeseburger in Paradise" very loudly. Then he let me steer the boat. His faith in me was astounding.
What I don't want to write about today is how hard it has been to watch Mark leave us. I don't need to tell you how I cried out to God to save his life, because if you are reading this, that is likely your story too. We share the grief, the the heartache of seeing him ill; if you attend Stones River you shared with me in the awe of watching him walk down the aisle at church as we sang "How Great is Our God". The joy and thankfulness and comfort in seeing him live so richly with his family the past two years is in all of our hearts. Lately, peace is all we have petitioned.
When I think of Mark, I will not think of grief. I will not think of loss. But I will always remember his kind and good heart, his sense of humor (even if I rolled my eyes more than laughed), and his deep love for his family. I will miss seeing his smiling face. I praise God he is smiling again now, his body whole and his pain forever gone. He is probably boating around on that crystal sea looking for a cheeseburger.
Jesus, bring us peace. Holy Spirit, comfort us. Father God, continue to pour out your goodness upon us. Amen.

Learning at Lunch

Being a teacher is a wonderful job, especially if you enjoy people watching. Children have this ability to completely ignore the fact that someone else (someone who may be judging them) is around. For example, 7 seconds after the kids walk in the door, I become invisible as they talk to friends, gather books for the day, and use the restroom. When I break into their conversations to correct one of them or say Good Morning, its as if I have interrupted. When this talent of ignoring is playing out, I get to see them in their bare form of being. They drop the "please the teacher" charade when they forget I'm there. Watching them interact with no filter is a sometimes shocking, and always hilarious adventure.

Last Thursday, three of my students had earned enough pennies to eat lunch with me in the classroom if they so chose. They told me they were very excited to get to eat in our classroom because the cafeteria is too loud. I asked them if they wanted to sit at their own desks, or if we should sit all together. I don't want to force my company on them if they would rather not talk to me, but they are six and I am still a friend in their mind, so they eagerly clamor to all sit together!

We sit down and eat our lunches, comparing each others. The children have ice cream bars which they cannot open, so I do the honors. One girl eats her ice cream first. I ask her if she is going to eat the rest of her food, and she nods yes as if I am crazy. I forget how physically hungry my students are. They eat anything! And tell me multiple times during the day they are hungry. Some of them don't eat much at home, and don't bring a snack to school. Our school cafeteria does a good job of feeding them a delicious, filling lunch each day!

As we eat, I let the kids talk freely, not commenting much so they can be themselves. It is funny the personalities that come out. One talks the entire time. I know she is a talker already, but today she's going full blast. The talking is so persistent, the the boy next to me has to interrupt to get a word in edgewise! When he speaks up, he tells me about his family. He tells me sad and worrying things about his family, but the way he describes them is more factual than despairing. It saddens me to see the potential in this child, and hear about his family's troubles. I hope that despite their hardships, they focus on him and help him become all he can be.

The third child does not speak up much. She is generally quiet, and I have assumed it is because she does not speak much English. After lunch, I learn my assumptions is incorrect. She sits quietly as the other two children vie for my attention. When they get tired of me they talk to each other about things I don't know about (iCarly and Hannah Montana). While discussing Hannah Montana's house, my quiet girl loudly and confidently chimes in about the color of Hannah's bedroom. I look at her a bit shocked. She simply smiles at me and eats the rest of her food without a word. Whether or not she speaks much English, that is not holding her back. She is just one of those people who is quiet until they have something to say, much like my husband.

Some teachers don't like to let kids eat in their rooms, and I understand why. They are messy and clingy, and when I can take 25 minutes to myself during the day, I am happy to do it. But, I am glad my kids ate with me on Thursday. I need to see more into their lives. All it takes is 25 minutes with a child, and in that time, a world of information comes out.

Political Thoughts

Shane Claiborne's book Irristible Revolution is one of my favorite books! He pretty much sums up thoughts I have had since childhood. At every page I was nodding, thinking- Finally, someone who understands my feelings! So I found a website with some of his quotations from the book. This is great, because I didn't want to type it all up, but I did want to share some things he said on the ole blog.



"There are some things to die for but none to kill for. "

"Today the logic goes something like this: 'Calling a ruler Son of God is out of style. No one really does that nowadays. We can support a president while also worshiping Jesus as the Son of God.' But how is this possible? For one says that we must love our enemies, and the other says we must kill them; one promotes the economics of competition, while the other admonishes the forgiveness of debts. To which do we pledge allegiance?"

"One thing that's clear in the Scriptures is that the nations do not lead people to peace; rather, people lead the nations to peace."

"And that’s when things get messy. When people begin moving beyond charity and toward justice and solidarity with the poor and oppressed, as Jesus did, they get in trouble. Once we are actually friends with the folks in struggle, we start to ask why people are poor, which is never as popular as giving to charity. One of my friends has a shirt marked with the words of late Catholic bishop Dom Helder Camara: “When I fed the hungry, they called me a saint. When I asked why people are hungry, they called me a communist.” Charity wins awards and applause but joining the poor gets you killed. People do not get crucified for living out of love that disrupts the social order that calls forth a new world. People are not crucified for helping poor people. People are crucified for joining them."

"When we truly discover how to love our neighbor as our self, Capitalism will not be possible and Marxism will not be necessary."

"Biological family is too small of a vision. Patriotism is far too myopic. A love for our own relatives and a love for the people of our own country are not bad things, but our love does not stop at the border."

"We are faithful not to the triumphant golden eagle (ironically, also an imperial symbol of power in Rome) but to the slaughtered Lamb."


In summation: un-nationalist, pacifist, alternatively economical, and radically loving. These ideas make my heart comfy.

Stolen from Donald Miller's Dog

One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, has a blog. He is letting his dog write on it this week. Funny, and inspired! These are some words that touched me.

“You don’t ever think when you are in extreme pain that you are being saved, chosen, picked for relationship, set aside to be loved. You can never really believe pain. It’s almost always something beautiful transitioning to something better, the whole time masquerading as a tragedy.”

As I am stepping into this new job, I am trying to see the big picture. God took me out of one place and put me in this new one. I was chosen to go. It was incredibly painful to leave, but I must believe beauty and love will come out of this new experience.

Maybe I will let Moe write on here sometime :)

The Tale of How I Got a Job

I know this is my second post today, but hey, lots to say!
So, I lost my job on April 1st. I have been frantically looking ever since. Lots of prayers, applications, emails, and rejection. All I wanted to know was where God wanted me to be. I felt like there was Kingdom work to do somewhere in a school. I was asking God to show me where to go, because I was getting no answers at all. David and I went to Stones River youth group a few weeks ago and they prayed over us that we would find jobs where we could help people. Byron made the comment that when the youth group prays, God listens and responds quickly. He was right!

That week I got three interviews. I was most hopeful about the second one, teaching middle school math. Even though math isn't my favorite, I thought I would like the school. Anyway, I went to the first interview for 5th grade. The school is about 45 minutes away from my house. I was pretty upset when I got there just because I could not imagine driving all that way every day. Anyway, I go inside 10 minutes early, and I can hear the principal interviewing someone else... This candidate sounds very qualified and they are having a great time chatting it up.

...50 minutes later... I am feeling like this job is definitely a no go. She has been interviewing this other woman for for-ev-er and don't want to drive this far. By the way, did I mention I can hear the whole conversation???? I hear the principal telling the interviewee about the high poverty population her school serves. My heart tingles a little. I feel called to poverty. But, its far away, and I don't want this job. Its obvious the other candidate is going to get the job. I text David and tell him I just want to leave. I explain the situation and tell him I don't want the job anyway and it is taking for-ev-er. David asks me not to leave, but to interview anyway.... In my mind I am sighing and saying, why did I tell him... Why didn't I just leave?? Then I start thinking... He is my husband. I have promised to respect him. And I decide to stay and talk with the principal. Only because I love David and want to show him I respect him.

So I stay and interview for about 20 minutes. The interview goes well. I don't get nervous for interviews, so they generally go well. I am not thinking anything is special... She tells me about the kids that go to the school. My heart is tingling again.

I drive home. Fully planning on not accepting the job, IF it is even offered. I talk it over with David and my mom. They agree it is really far away.

I go to my second interview of the week. It goes really well! I am almost positive I will get it. Days later I am told I will not be getting it. My third interview gets cancelled. I'm not too upset...

Then- I get the phone call. She wants me for the job. She had another position open up and she is calling me. My initial reaction is to tell her, you are too far away, thanks but no thanks. Thankfully, I just say I will think about it over the weekend.

We discuss. We pray. We listen. My heart just won't stop tingling. I cannot stop thinking of the kids I could work with. Kids who don't have a lot in their lives. Kids I could show love to... They win me over. I have never met any of them, but I feel like God is sending me to them. And I am going! I accepted the job this morning!

God is faithful. Listening to your husband is a good idea. I'm really excited!

Pancakes de Lauren

I am super impressed with this guy Jim's website dedicated to his creation of pancakes. I decided that I should try it out for myself. I bought the squirt bottles he uses and made a valiant first attempt.

In my mind I wanted some pink heart shaped cakes with chocolate chip polka dots. This was not the end result...
First I used some Blueberry pomegranate juice to color the batter pink. Or at least purple. But it turned out gray. How did that happen? Well, maybe next time I will use some food coloring. The juice did make the pancakes taste super yummy, though!


Next I started my heart pancake. Apparently leaving the lid on the squirt bottle while i smacked the end to get the batter down in the nozzle was a bad idea. Too much pressure made the batter squirt out continuously. I didn't have any control over the batter flow!!! So it ended up a little crazy!

So I filled it all in and let it bake. Then after I flipped it, I had the idea to make a black and white cookie kinda heart. So I put chocolate chips on half of the heart. YUM! It looked kinda... not beautiful...

Also I made a swirl.
Then, inspired by my sweet dog, I made a Moe cake. I did the head first, then the body. I used chocolate chips for eyes.




Looks nice, right?
It was an interesting first try. Totally delicious, but not to the artistic level I anticipated.
Well, there is always tomorrow!

Turtle Rescue

I have enjoyed my time working at the Discovery Center thus far. My favorite part of the job is watching the turtles! We have a pond of red eared sliders. In the other side we have a big snapper. It is divided for the safety of the little turtles. One female just doesn't care. She keeps on crawling up the embankment and falling into the snapper's side! Old Snappy hasn;t eaten her yet though. And four times I have seen her start climbing and stopped her....

A turtle rescuer's job is never done!

Summer Girl

New haircut for summer! Yay! Moe got one too :)






Also- check out this website. It makes me excited! www.missionyear.org

Happy summer to all! Use the time to love on people around you, to read good books, and to be still and know that HE is God!

Miracle

One moment, I am outside on the porch, reading and drinking a Cherry Coke Zero in the sun... The next moment, I feel a darkness around me. A giant cloud has pushed its way over our house. Then comes the wind. Our grill cover is doing a lovely dance. Ahhh Tennessee summertime weather... Nothing like it.

Have I mentioned lately that God is so good?! When I am feeling hopeless, he shines a little light my way. Also, today a miracle happened. I am not kidding... I believe in miracles. And this one sounds trite, but it happened. Gather roooound brothers and sisters, because here is the story. I had a very discouraging phone call today with a business that shall remain nameless. I needed their help and it was refused, quite rudely and without reason. This is not the first time they have treated me poorly. Anyway, I was so upset. Feeling depressed and defeated, I went to eat lunch with some of my favorite ladies and baby. We went to Wich Which, a fabulous sandwich place that serves a ham and pineapple sandwich! Now that is a good sandwich! I decided to get a bag of baked chips because they are more healthy. Sad to say, the only baked chips I saw were too flavored.
If you know me, like- really know me, you know I just like plain, original flavored chips 90% of the time. So, I was not excited about these Southwestern Ranch Baked chips I picked up. But, I wanted something crunchy to eat, so I got them. I ordered the rest of my food, sat down, looked at my chips and - Praise the LORD they were Original Baked Lays! The kind that I had wanted! And, I KNOW there were none of them up there when I grabbed my bag. It was like water into wine, only better! The LORD smiled on me. He gave me something to cheer me up and told me, "I've still got you. Calm down." God is Good. All the time. Amen.

Summertime!

The school year is officially over!! I am no longer a first year teacher. My dear students are passed on into the next teacher's hands. Feels good. Saying goodbye to my kids was painful, especially when they told me they missed me and their parents said "You can go visit her next year, you will see her!" or when parents told me they hoped the younger sibling got me next year. Oh- tearful! However, knowing that parents thought I did a good job helping their precious kids made me feel proud of myself. Now it is time to move on to new things.

New things:
Working at the Discovery Center! Yay! Looking forward to getting lots of great hands-on teaching ideas.
Going to the pool! Last summer we had no time, but this year I will relax by the pool with a good book and work on my tan.
Working out with Nikki! My sweet sis is moving to Kansas for her doctorate (get it!) in August. So we are going to treasure our last months together and work out a lot! Yay!

Hurrah for summertime!

Circle of Life versus Time Line

Well, my birthday came and went. With it came beautiful flowers, great meals, and lots of love! However, no job. My time line that I had in my brain passed by without any hope for a new job.

But, I have peace, praise God! Thanks a lot to Dean letting the Spirit work through him on Sunday talking about surrender. I am surrendering (because I have to do it everyday... stupid human nature) my job search to God. He is the one with the plan. I do not need to have a deadline in mind. I do not need to have a certain place in mind. I need only to trust and say "I'm here! Where are you sending me??" Feels good to know I am not in charge :)




Ok, totally unrelated, but LOST ended and I was perfectly happy with the finale. It was funny, sweet, and focused totally on the characters it started with. For the record, the characters, not the crazy-hare-brained-philosophical-time-travelling-insane plot were what drew me into the show. Love was the strongest bond between them in the end! Yay for love winning! I also liked how they did not explain everything, but still left the end clear. Time, which the fans (and writers) have been obsessed with from season 3 (I think), played little role. It was nice to see the relationships be reunited! I almost shed a tear when Charlie saw Aaron and Claire... Oh man. So good! Kudos to the little jokes they threw in for the fans, like calling Flocke Smokey and telling Jack he was the obvious choice. It was a nice tribute to the fans of the show.


In summation: the circle of life wins.

Test

This is a test. This is only a test. If this had been a real emergency, you would have been given instructions.


So, I still do not have a job. My interviews are over, and I got rejected. I am still looking every day, applying for everything I can, and looking into getting certified for more grade levels. But right now I have nothing. It hurts. I know God has a plan. I know I will get a job. I know we will be ok. I know I am not a bad teacher. But it was easy to believe that when I had interviews lined up that looked hopeful. Now, when I can see nothing on the horizon, I am feeling the pain.

He can do more than I can imagine. He does not give us more than we can handle. Waiting is hard.

For my birthday, I would like a job. Amen.

Pomp and Circumstance

My husband graduated from college this weekend! YAY! I am so proud of all of his hard work and perseverance. He stuck with it and is now a graduate. Hooray for David! Also hooray for our future children, who have two parents with degrees and will probably also get degrees, as well! Or so say the statistics.

I feel like I will get a job this week, by the way. If I don't it will be fine, because I know there is a plan in place. I might get a little disappointed, but we have faith that God is providing. This could be the week, though! Two interviews that should have been last week but were canceled due to flooding. I would be thrilled with either! The anticipation is making me a little crazy!!

Sunshine Today

This morning when I woke up around 9:30 (school got cancelled due to flooding), the sun was shining so bright! Praise! It put me in such a good mood, I am cleaning the house while David is gone, finishing his paintings. We are in the last week of his degree program, I can see the light at the end, and it is beautiful!!

On the other hand of things, my joints have been killing me since the rain started. My fingers hurt first, then a shoulder. Now my knees are both sore. Gaah. I was tested for arthritis a few years ago when my joints started bothering me one random New Year's Eve night... But all the tests were negative. I need to go to a specialist. Oh dear...

So, looking forward to the following things: two interviews this week with two schools I think I would be very happy at, figuring out my schedule at the Discovery Center for the summer, buying some sweet Mother's Day present for my MIL, congratulating David on finishing school!, and Field Day with my kids at school. Good times!

Blustery Day

I have lived in Tennessee all my life, and have grown accustomed to dealing with the completely absurd weather patterns we tend to experience. We frequently have tornados in the spring, and this weekend we are experiencing quite a bit of flooding. Now, I am not afraid of storms. I think they are cool and I know the precautions to take, so I see no reason to be scared. However, with this flooding going on... I think I am terrified of a flood! There are pictures all over the news of water half covering stores and homes, roads completely closed off, and rivers more swollen than they have been in decades. I can't imagine water coming up and covering my windows! What in the world would you do?? Get on the roof?

I know some people are experiencing that right now. Praying that God will stop the rain, send them rescue, and bring peace to anyone effected by the storms.

Again, I am moving to the desert.

Reason 873

that David is the best husband in the world: When he gets mad, he cleans the kitchen.

Amazing. Pure happiness. No guilt, because I asked if I could help and he said no.

Also, I have a job interview next week at a school I reeeeeally want to work at! I feel like I want it almost too much. The whole thing happened so perfectly, that I feel like it must be His planning... But then again, I know we learn so much during times of struggle and desperation, I kinda think God wants me to learn something else and I'm not done suffering... Either way, His plan is the one we're going with! But for the record, I want this job! :)

Mo' Moe

Our dog, Moe, is a very strange and delightful creature. He is afraid of everything. Everything- People, loud noises, weird looks I occasionally give him, cameras, and doorbells on television. On top of that, he thinks he is a cat. He loves to lay on the back of the couch, stretched out in the sun. Sometimes he will lay on his back and swat at us with his paws, very catlike. His dire need to sit right between David and I on the couch is also an anomaly which we cannot explain.

Right now, though, he is hiding behind my feet. Snuggled so closely between my legs and the couch I am surprised he can fit there. His fear of storms has driven him to hide. Thunder upset him in his normal cat-ish pose on the back of the couch and he is now seeking shelter under me. Its very adorable. He is sleeping peacefully. I guess we have switched roles. He is the one always "protecting" me from strangers and noises of car doors shutting a few houses down. Now I am protecting him from the storms. Oh dog love!

Safe

In the past few weeks I have learned that I take a lot of my self image and pride from my job. Silly that I put all my confidence in something I can't control. I know I need to shift it to confidence in the Lord ONLY! I'm working on that...
for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being snared.
Proverbs 3:26


to the one whose dreams are falling all apart
and all you’re left with is a tired and broken heart
i can tell by your eyes you think you’re on your own
but you’re not alone

have you heard of the One who can calm the raging sea
give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
with a love so strong and never let you go
no you’re not alone

you will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
‘cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
this is the promise He made, He will be with you always
when everything is falling apart you will be safe in His arms

did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
is the very same voice that calls you now to rise
so hear Him now He’s calling you home
you will never be alone

these are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the sea
these are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
these are the hands that healed the leper
pulled the lame up to their feet
these are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

safe in His arms, safe in His arms
safe in His arms
when everything is falling apart
you will be safe in His arms…”

– “safe”.. by phil wickham

Dog Revelation

David and I have come to a realization... Moe, our adorable American Eskimo, believes that our home is his. No, not that we share a home, but that he owns our home. He is the one who is there most often. He is the one who announces visitors and keeps us safe. David and I simply come and go, sleeping there and stealing food from his fridge.

Laziness

Since Wednesday I have been at home in bed... I am sick. My ears are hurting, sore throat, headache, congestion, and a slight fever. I went to the doctor and nothing was wrong with me. No flu, no strep throat. Just a lot of wax in my ear... Really? How do I never have a definable illness? Whatever. So I follow the NP's advice and get some earwax drops. They are gross feeling and I don't think it all came out of my ear. The result:more pain last night and fullness feeling today.

So I am on day 3 of staying home and being incredibly lazy. Its (obvious if you know me) driving me crazy! I hate not going to work. Teachers are kind of control freaks and I don't like missing any days at all! Missing three in a row right before spring break is not ideal for me. This morning I woke up feeling well rested so I got up, tried to do some normal activity... Almost instantly I can't breathe and I'm exhausted again. Drat.

Just noticed my sore throat is no longer irritated. Nice!

So last night David came home with dinner for me (sweet husband) and he opened our bedroom window shade. It was nice. Now that the sun is out longer I got to watch the sunset and then watch the planes land with their pretty lights. Very relaxing. I've been alone pretty much the whole time I've been sick because David is furiously trying to finish all his painting projects, printing projects, and baby nursery murals for our friends. He has been working hard! So I have been catching up on proteacher forums, applying for summer jobs, and watching inordinate amounts of tv.

But, I will be well soon and I will get to have a happy and productive spring break. Here are the things I will do: clean closet, go shopping for new clothes, clean classroom, paint toenails, read in the sunshine while drinking an amaretto sour, and cook some amazing cupcakes for David's show. If I can do those things I will be super happy!

Inside my mind

Thought of political nature:

I know that I do not share similar views of many people, and I do not ever want to come off as angry when I share some of my ideas. The reason I feel the way I do about these things is because I believe in love, so I want to share my thoughts in a loving way. I also know that I am far from being an expert in political thinking. The system is very confusing and corrupt. I do not try to take part in understanding all the ins and outs. If I sound ignorant, forgive me.

I wish that people who are passionate about getting rid of abortion were as passionate about getting rid of war, poverty, and the death penalty. Someone invited me to a pro-life group on facebook about "protecting life" referring only to unborn babies. I couldn't join that group. To me pro-life includes all ages, all people. Even criminals. Even people who aren't American.
Not that I think the abortion issue isn't important. I do. I think that abortion is very sad and is extremely damaging to young women. However, it isn't the only life-stopping force that our country allows.
Just something for you to think about. If you feel strongly about being pro-life, remember to promote all life.

Spreading the Love

I am a first year teacher this year. They say it is really hard, and they are right. There have been lots of challenges I didn't expect such as: stapler repair, puke being deposited everywhere, celebrating every holiday known to man, never having as much time as I want for science and social studies, and teaching self defense when our county decided to tell students if an intruder comes in- its ok for you to fight back. My class is made up of mostly darlings and a few turkeys that just seem to love to test me. Lately, I've been worrying that I spend all my time disciplining the few and not teaching the rest...
That is not my goal. My goal is to take a group of 5 and 6 year olds and turn them in to responsible and caring kids who can also read and do basic math. I was contemplating if I had done a good job when I had a conversation with another teacher, Kindergarten, next door to me. I asked her if all her kids liked to hold hands all the time, cause mine sure do. She told me none of her kids held hands, it was just my kids because of the hippie culture we have in our room. This was delightful to hear! It made me feel like my kids really do care about each other and that I have somehow helped them learn to do that. Then yesterday we went into a different room to watch a movie with another class. The class we were visiting stayed in their desks, while my kids sat on the carpet. 15 minutes into the movie, all of mine have laid down with their heads on each other's stomachs, sharing jackets for pillows. I loved it. A lot of teachers have trouble with their kids bickering a lot, but mine just love each other. So I am starting to feel like possibly I have done something good in these kids lives. Happiness!

Overwhelmingly Ovewhelmed.

Ohmygoodnesswhenwillitstop?
That crazy weekend I had is turning into a crazy week. I feel better now, though. My husband has stopped puking and I finished all my kids' report cards today. This is a great improvement.

Alexa did well at her meet. Got 5th overall for her age and 2nd on bars! Get it girrr! She, however, did not think she did well and continued her habit of pouting on the award stand... Aggravating.
And may I just say(rant! rant!), as someone who works with children... Not every kid needs to get a medal!! Let's just have 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place! We are teaching our children that they are entitled to everything and that they are good at things even when they aren't. Someone is going to eventually tell them they can't get everything they want... Might as well tell them when they're young and save them the shock.

I haven't got to watch LOST for 2 weeks now! I am a little miffed.

Tried spinach pizza today... Surprisingly delicious! But, is it any healthier???

Au revoir!

Weekend Get Away!

This weekend we are traveling to see David's youngest sister compete for some gymnastic glory. Last time she got 6th all around at Disney, so we are pumped to see her do even better this time. It's our first time to see her compete at level 7 so we are excited! However, this weekend will be more work that any weekend thus far in the year.

Things to do for weekend trip:
4 loads of laundry, pack clothing/toiletries/snacks, clean dishes so house does not stink, grade about 150 papers, input about 300 grades into computer, find gymnastics Tshirt to wear for competition, find swimsuit to perhaps wear to indoor water park, get Lindsay in our car on time, put Moe into our car, find our way to Gatlinburg, teach Lindsay Godspell dances we can't remember, try to survive 3 crazy dogs and 6 crazy humans together in one chalet, etc...

Also, what does "clear this up" imply? If you forget to do something (ie. tell your boss you are taking a personal day) and someone says "we'll clear this up when you get back"(ie. your boss in an email to you), does that mean you are in big trouble (ie. fired??). I am nervous... I love my job!! Surely I will be forgiven- again. Man, being a first year teacher can make you feel super dumb some days.

Well, enough worrying. Time to get a bag of Doritos and a Mountain Dew and get away!!

Today the sun is out! Its February and I am not grumpy! Miracle of miracles.

When I saw the sunshine coming into our home, the light instantly filled me up with energy! I understood why people worshiped the sun.f

100% sure I could move to the desert, never see snow again, and be perfectly happy. Praise God that spring is surely (very slowly) coming!

Blogoshpere Solidarity!

Apparently having a blog is not the nerdiest thing you can do (currently). Since my two closest friends are now hour(s) away from me this can not only be a soap box, but a recipe share-er! Yay!

Tayo- this is what I'm making the boys tonight (David, Ben, and Blake)

4 cups zucchini, peeled, seeded and cut into 1 inch cubes
1 stick butter or margerine
1 small to medium onion, chopped
1 cup shredded carrots
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 cup (8 ounces) of sour cream
1 box of Pepperidge Farms seasoned croutons

Boil zucchini just until tender, drain (if using zucchini you had frozen, just thaw it and drain very well, I found no need to cook it). In a large skillet, melt butter. Add carrots and onion and sauté until tender.

Remove from heat and stir in sour cream and soup (right out of the can). Stir in the drained zucchini and half of the croutons and mix until croutons are coated. Pour into buttered 3 quart baking dish.

Top evenly with remaining croutons, cover with foil and bake at 350°F for 35-40 minutes or until hot.

My 4 cups of zucchini were generous (on the heaping side) and it works fine.

Submitted by: Janice Kimpel

I talk to myself a lot. I think most of the time I do it internally, but who knows? I will be writing about some things I would tell people if they ever asked me. Somehow in my southern upbringing I got the notion that you don't shout out your opinion until your asked. So I may just be pretending that some people would ask- and be responding in kind.

Thought: I wish we had a wailing wall. Like in Jerusalem. Last night at Godspell rehearsal we had to wail as Jesus mourns over Jerusalem. It was very nice. Actually, it was quite unpleasant, but in that uncomfortable posture and vocalization, there was a nice release. I don't cry often, but there are things that I want (and should) cry over. I wish wailing and crying over people was more accepted and even promoted here. I think we all might be more emotionally healthy. So the wailing was nice. Honestly, it was nice to hear other people wailing, too. I knew I wasn't the only one who hurt. Heavy first thought. No apologies.

A First

I used to love to write when I was in school. Since I have now graduated, married, and joined the work force it seems that I have less time to express my self through written words. In an attempt to change that I decided to create a blog. I type much faster than I write so perhaps I will be able to keep a record of my thoughts easily through this medium. Choosing a pretty font is much more appealing than trying to print neatly, anyway!